Some of you probably saw this coming but its a post that I’m going to do regardless.
First and foremost to the people out there thinking that being a step parent does not count as having children/kids/offspring of any kind.
It fucking does!
In fact its harder. There is conflict in ideas about how children should be supported and raised between step parents and birth parents. Its harder to get consistency, its harder to jump into parenthood feet first. Its harder to know what to do for the best sometimes and to know when you have a right to an opinion. Its even harder when the relationship with the other birth parent (the one that you are not with) is shockingly bad no matter what you seem to do.
I have found since becoming pregnant and a little before that I hear the line “when you have kids you’ll understand” being used constantly. Newsflash, I do have a kid, have done for 5 years. I love her to bits, I’ve supported her where I can, tried my best, want whats best for her, done all I can do and will continue to do so because to me she is a part of the family.
When I got married I not only married my husband, I married my stepdaughter. I made promises to both that I would be there for them and look after them etc until the day I conk it, and that still stands. She will always have a roof over her head here whenever she wants it, and this is her home too.
When I am asked by doctors is this your first, I said “yes my first birth but I’m a stepmum”. When people ask if I have kids I say “yes a stepdaughter”. When little one comes along and people ask me how many children I have I will say “2, a stepdaughter and a boy/girl”. This baby is the second child in our family. Admittedly it will be the first one I have given birth too but it will be the second child in the Draper household. That will never change.
I think the point I’m trying to make is that step parents are important and so are step children. Its called a blended family. A good step parent sees the child as their own, looks after them and raises them like their own. Its a hard job with next to no recognition and our journey hasn’t been an easy one. However I wouldn’t have it any other way. My husband and stepdaughter appreciate me, and we all have a good relationship with one another, and always will. Its about time that blended families were recognised more as families and not as “well they’re not really your kid are they?” or “its different when its your own”.
The next person to say that to me will get slapped…