Finding me.

Hi all

Well had a day off today. There’s quite a lot going on in my life at the moment. Without going into details on here but all I will say is I have a lot on my mind and so does my husband. We spoke about it together and he advised me to take my time to process things and to take things step by step. I guess one of the things my anxiety makes me do is try to rush to a solution and rush situations so that they are over and I can not be anxious about them. However this can make this worse and more stressful. I am starting to learn after all these years to sit back a bit more and let things go at their own pace. However sometimes this brings on a few symptoms.

When I’m anxious I get restless. I can’t settle. One of the best things to do in this situation is to distract myself. Today this meant doing something I hadn’t done for years and picking up my art things and doing some painting. I only did a small peice. A couple of hours or so. But it was enough to relax me.

One thing I love about watercolours is they make me feel close to my grandad. He passed away a few years ago but I loved him very much. He bought me my watercolour set, a very posh one, when I did GCSE art. I still have it and use it now. And every time I do I think of him. Isn’t it strange how things can do that? A smell or a random object or something that means something to you and no one else. I think that’s probably why it calmed me so much. It let me think about other things. Sometimes that’s all the break we need.

I have added the picture below. By no means is it my best masterpiece but I haven’t bothered with my art for a while. I guess thats the depression side of things taking over. You really do loose a lot of interest in the things you love. It felt good to do some art again. Like I had found a peice of myself.

I guess escape can come from the smallest of things. It’s some thing I will bear in mind.

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