D&V and responsabilities

Hi all

We’ll I’ve just had a few days off work on account of a bad bout of d and v…no idea where I got it but its a horrible bug and has burnt all the inside of my throat…very nasty! So physically I’m feeling a bit battered and bruised…however I am now eating and due to return to work tomorrow so hopefully I will be as right as rain soon.

I opened this blog on a computer, and found some messages that I wish I hadn’t read. Not really want I needed at this point in time. I do wonder why people have to be so complicated when half the time all it would take is the words “I did wrong and I’m sorry”. I don’t understand why this is so difficult.

I’m at a bit of a crossroads really. Sometimes I feel that I really miss certain people from my life, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I want to pick up the phone and speak to people, admit to things that I didn’t do and make everything ok. But then I stop and think and wonder why. Is just missing people enough for me to go back to a life where I couldn’t speak to people that they didn’t approve of, or life how I wanted, or see who I wanted without jealousy? Is it worth speaking to those people just because I miss them when they make me feel so worthless and bad about myself?

I have gone through some very dark times as a result of the way i have been treated, as this blog will tell…and I am mostly coming out of the other side…do I want to risk going through all that again?

For now the answer is no, not until I can ensure that this will not happen to me again.

If only some people could accept responsibility. Life would be so much easier…


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