What a difference a day can make.
Today i did something special and personal to me. I went horse riding.
To some that doesnt mean much. But to me it represented a lot more. The last time i rode a horse, for longer than about 5 minutes and for more than a slow walk i fell off. I had been riding since i was around 5, and only fell off about a decade ago (jesus im old). In true “me” fashion i didnt bounce well but landed on my head and ended up quite poorly. Since then i have never been able to overcome that feeling. As soon as ive mounted ive been afraid and jumped off almost as quickly as ive got on.
Recently changes in circumstances have made me feel ready to try for one final time, and with the support of my husband, we went.
I was scared, and as soon as i got on i was afraid. With his and the instructors encouragement i proceeded with my lesson.
And i loved it! I felt like a huge part of me had come back. I gradually grew in confidence and managed to achieve more then i thought. I felt so proud of myself, i still do if im honest. And ive felt proud all day…if not a little but achey.
To me it was my epic acheivement of the week. It doesnt have much to do with my depression, perhaps a tenuous link could be made that i have overcome my anxiety of the situation and therefore have made a small step, but perhaps not. It was just a lovely experience, that i wanted to share. Im booked in again, maybe the newfound love of a hobby that formed such a big part of me will give me part of the old me back. Who knows? All i know is i went faster then a walk, not quite a canter….and i enjoyed it!
Love c xxx